Perhaps it is just not knowing when to stop analyzing, questioning, etc. Yet, in the interest of fully-examining what looks to be the biggest choice in my life, I need to press myself to examine the "prestige" involved in the choice to adopt.
Frankly, I am not sure what to say about this. As my first and only choice in family formation--a choice made not via infertility, or other concerns, I think the problem of prestige concerns me more than it might need to concern others (or, perhaps I just concern myself with it more than others?).
During the course of a private conversation the other day, the person I was conversing with made mention of the idea that I was adopting for the prestige of it. In fact, this was not said in malice, but in quite a matter-of-fact manner. The idea has been a huge slug in the gut since that time.
I mean, do I adopt for the same reason I persevered in attending an Ivy League school? My first instinct is to say that, in fact, the two can't be compared. And, oddly enough, I have been far enough out of touch with pop culture to be ignorant of the situations of Angelina Jolie, the Kidman-Cruises, until far after I effectively made my decision to consider myself a preferential adopter.
Yet, like any good monster in the closet, the idea that "Oh my goodness, what if I really AM doing it for the 'prestige' of it all, and don't know it?" continues to haunt me. Perhaps it is anxiety (chronic sufferer here!), but perhaps it is.....?
Any insight into the matter would be greatly appreciated.
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