Fate versus Choice

On the order of a post I read today from Heart, Mind, and Seoul, I continue to think about (and, indeed, be prompted to think about) exactly why adoptive parents make the choices that they do. Within the course of the post, the author elucidated the prominent modes of thought that equate birth/firstparents to the concept of "choice," and adoptive parents to the concept of "God's will," "fate," etc. To the author, and indeed to me, these equations do not work very well--especially, for my purposes, the equation of adoptive parents to circumstances beyond their control/choice. Claiming God's will, fate, or even just emotions or feelings to the choice to adopt really seems to relieve adoptive parents of the responsibility for the analysis of their own choices.

The choice to pursue adoption, and indeed to pursue it as a singular method of creating a family, is not, and should not be, a decisions made lightly. On that note, creating a family at all should not be an lightly-made decision. Yet, especially in the case of the Adoption Knot, the choices involved in forming a family must be conducted with gravity, humility, ethics, and, dare I say? Analytical introspection. Perhaps not devoid of an acceptance of the idea that spirituality can serve as a guiding tool--but emphasizing that spirituality is but one tool in a process of choice.

Apart from spirituality, the emphasis on fate (as opposed to choice--and I'm beginning to see them as a bit more opposed than I did, previously) also, if not exactly in the same terms, seems to me to relieve adoptive parents of the responsibility for an analysis of choices that they themselves make.

Apologies for the incoherence. Not currently on the ADD meds...and it's starting to show. ;)